Great Game Spoiled by Blah Ads

A last-minute miraculous catch in the corner of the end zone for a dramatic Super Bowl victory. What more can you ask for?

Well, for starters, how about one decent commercial?

Apparently $3 million gets you on the air, but that’s about it. That price doesn’t include creativity, humor or in some cases, a point. So let’s take a look at the Good, the Bad, the Ugly and the ‘Meh?’ to find out what worked, what didn’t and why.

THE GOOD

Monster.com
A moose head on one side of a wall and a moose butt on the other side. Nice and simple. Say no more. I get it. No CGI. No celebrity spokesperson. No 3D glasses. Not even any words. This quiet spot accomplished in 30 seconds what Career Builder failed to do in 60 seconds with wall-to-wall repetitive copy. Monster: 1. Career Builder: 0.

Denny’s
This spot snuck up on us like a good mobster should. Mafia stereotypes are nothing new, but whip cream sprayed on a pancake face covered in candy? Now you’re speaking my language. Great casting, comedic timing and use of a whip cream sound effect. Plus, free Grand Slam breakfast on Tuesday. Ba-da-bing, goomba!

THE BAD

Budweiser
Question: If Budweiser is “The Great American Lager” then why in the world are they showing a spot featuring a Scottish Clydesdale with an accent as thick as Willie the Groundskeeper’s from The Simpson’s? Take a lesson from Miller High Life. Just buy a one-second spot and shout out your name as loud as possible. Genius.

Sobe
Anyone still have their 3D glasses from 1988? If so, dust ‘em off, sit back and prepare to look like an idiot for the next 60 seconds. Or was it the football players doing ballet who looked like idiots? Either way, Geico has the market cornered when it comes to lizards, so SoBe, either find a new mascot or a new ad agency.

THE UGLY

GoDaddy
Danica Patrick may be hot, but these spots were u-g-l-y. The acting made porn movies look Oscar-worthy and the production quality was reminiscent of a snuff film. Wannabe Axe ads, these under-produced spots look like they were made by those three hosers crowding around the computer. Adding insult to injury, GoDaddy direct you to extended versions that make you wish you were being flogged – by Danica, of course.

THE “MEH?”

Doritos
We wanted to like it. We really did. Interesting set up with the crystal ball snow globe. Ok, I’m with you so far. Smash. Into the vending machine. Nice. Free Doritos. Ok, good. Wait, what are you doing now? No. Don’t. Please! Don’t throw the snow globe at your bosses’ cro–. Damn. He threw it at his bosses’ crotch. So close, Doritos…so close.

Cheetos
Ok. Another chip company. Let’s see if they can get it right. Open on two women. Nice appeal to a female demographic. One’s a total snob, the other seems pretty normal. Yin yang. The latter tosses some Cheetos on the ground and here come the pigeons. (Their bird demographic?) Pigeons attack, then end with a creepy talking cartoon cat whose name rhymes with “molester” and you just blew $3 million.